i dreamt of buying a one way ticket again. same city. same made up storyline. same gut wrenching feeling that i'm waking up again in a town that never even wanted me here to begin with. theres a lot that could be said about a lonely day dreamer like me. most of it cliche' and easily forgotten. most days my prayers are bounced off of steel ceilings and falling back on (my own) deaf ears. maybe one day there will be some real substance behind the mindless chatter and clicks of the keyboard. eventually you just have to step back and look at the big picture. it may not be beautiful. it may not be what you hoped to see. but it is reality and all you can do is face facts and keep moving forward with your head high and you're heart at the ready. it's okay to look back, but keep the revisionism to a minimum.


well, try to at least.

its cute how you ignore
how much you meant to me.
you are beautiful
but you dont know
i wanna say fuck you
but i know i was the one fucked.

i know
what you're ready to be
but it isn't with me
so i'm ready to leave you alone.

merlotxspritexsleeplessnights

i swept my bathroom floor and put in fresh mats.
i consider it a form of nesting because i know whats coming
maybe a few nights
maybe a few days
i wrote your name down fifty times
just a little reminder
of how beautiful my life really is