i don't know why things work out the way they do sometimes. i don't know if its because things are destined to go a certain way, or if we are all just supposed to do what it takes to make things the way we want them to be. i think i like the way the second one sounds. i would fight and fight but i have a feeling that maybe it will just make things worse in the long run. im trying not to have a preconceived idea of how the future will be because all that really does is take my focus away from right now. and i'm trying not to think about what i could have done differently because there's no changing the past and thinking about it will just clutter up my mind. maybe im stupid for still caring after all of this time. i think it's time to finally let it all go. maybe things will change later on in life. maybe they won't. either way, i can't spend any more nights awake wondering what if. so for now im going to cut ties (literally and figuratively) and leave it all up to fate, or chance or whatever the case may be. if you ever need me, you know i'll always be there.

thanksforthememories.