secret thoughts and hidden meanings seem to be all i can pull out of my brain these days. i forgot what it feels like to get a good nights sleep, and the bags under my eyes are proof of that. looks like losing one thing started a trend because now i'm also losing sleep, weight and my mind. im guessing they are all in one place waiting for me to wake up from all of this. last night i sat and tried to remember as much about you as possible but i got sidetracked by the sound of this claymore in my chest that decided it would be a good time to explode. at least i was alone, so aside from collateral damage, there were no human casualties. i wish i could (write) every wrong. i wish i had the right words to say. i wish i could remember tv on dvd nights. when time moved in slow motion and the smiles were genuine. just so you know, you'll never know. (now)