maybe these are the last words i'll write. every wrong happens one after another and it makes me feel like i don't even know what's right anymore. i hide behind jokes and smirks because that's the easy way out. ya know, cop out before you call me out. none of this even makes sense anymore. words plus words equal some strange sort or watered down sanity. i've been known to drop weight like it's hot. diet heartbreak. low-carb loneliness. i cast all of my fears aside because i've never been one to look reality in the face. i think i need to take a break from everything and try to remember how to really live again. im losing my mind holding on to promises that were made and broken in one breath. love that seemed so solid and sank like the titanic. i refuse to go down with this ship. the band can play on but i wont be there to listen. im just a ghostly shell of an existence that at one point in time had a real meaning. maybe i'm letting my hands move faster than my brain again. either way, don't be surprised if i shy away from the world for a little while. hold on tight because this ride may not be over just yet. keep your eyes peeled. i've been told i shake things up from time to time. you always said we were ones to step on toes. i just hope i have enough weight for anyone to notice.