this is where it all falls apart again and i'm left to clean up this mess i made. i don't want to say that it's the straw that broke the camels back, but it's definitely the thing that broke my heart into pieces. fuck ambition. fuck drive. fuck putting my hope into anything ever again. when it comes to speaking, i'm literally at a loss for words. i'll just let my fingers work overtime to try and make sense of all of this. this might be it and i want to say im sorry to anyone that gets hurt in the process. i always thought that believers never died, but i stopped believing and now i'm just waiting for the second step. i dont want to grow old anymore. i dont want to get hurt by love again. i just want it all to be over. maybe then i'll finally get some peace and freedom. don't read to much into this because when it comes down to it these are only a series of ones and zeros organized to spell out my cries for attention. i'm glad you're doing okay. smile. happy looks good on you.