i dont really know why this is hitting me so hard. i guess its just because i saw it all happening a different way and under different circumstances. i wish you would talk to me about things. i wish you would let me back in. i know if that were to happen it would take a while anyway, but its hard to not feel anxious. i guess all i can do is wait. i'm pretty good at that. if anyone would be able to make it through something like this, it's you. you are so strong and can handle anything. eventually you'll tell me where your mind is about all of this, and i'll be there to listen like i always have been.

if you need anything just say the word, i mean ANYTHING.


i (still) love you.