i've been sending out status messages from months ago because i see it all differently now. its days like today that make me want to take a walk around the lake for hours. there's something about trips around that perfect circle that make my head feel a little less cluttered. making space for all of tomorrows mistakes. i'm the (not so) typical optimist really, you just have to see things the way i do. basically, i want to be at peace when the car crash comes that i'm convinced i'll die in one day. the thought used to scare me, but over the years i guess i have just made myself okay with it. i just hope when that day finally comes, i've made it a point to let everyone know that i love them with every fucking ounce of my being. because i really do, i just may have a fucked up way of showing it sometimes.