i don't make plans anymore, i just make excuses. they are mostly for the way you have been acting and they are always to myself.

sometimes i wonder what the fuck im doing anymore.

wakemeup.

i had half the day off and it still feels like the afternoon is dragging. 
it’s hump day. let’s all meet at the bar. i think i’ll take a shot (in the dark) this time.
lately my moods have been swinging like fists in the first round of a sold out fight. 
i’m hoping to get tired and be knocked out by the third. 
it doesn’t matter if i win or lose, at least someone is making a profit. 
i’ve been writing a lot in secret lately. 
it’s not that i don’t want anyone to read it, it just hasn’t felt like my words. 
sometimes if i just let my fingers move, i’ll find out more about myself than i thought i knew. 
what’s right is wrong. 
what’s wrong, i write. 
i’m not sad.
i’m not depressed.
i’m just out of it.

words can really be your worst weapon.

i just need to stop taking them to heart.

i really hope you know i am the best thing to ever happen to you.


don't worry, thats exactly how i feel about you.

the same hands we place over our hearts and sliding across hips. words mixed with feelings, laced with alcohol, spoken soft enough so only you and i can hear them. im a legend in this life sweetheart. just check my stats. you remind me of a time when i felt like i could take on the world at any given moment. now i just seem to be writing checks that my mouth ca(wo)n't cash. i can lash out and lose my cool but i always just blame it on my insecurities. lesson (un)learned. i said i would never bend over backwards for anyone, but for you i swear i'd crack my spine. life in a wheelchair would be worth every second if i could see the corners of your lips sitting high every day. people say they understand beauty, but they are lying if they have never seen your face. they can say they know perfection but they have never layed in a bed and took breaths to the rythm of your beating heart. to be honest, nothing else matters as long as i have you with me.

close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

or when im talking about how i wish we were. 

Welcome me back with open arms.
Hate every word i write because it’s doesn’t make sense.
Always remember that backs are for stabbing and hands are for grabbing.
Think about it all, but don’t read too deep.
Sing me something beautiful in the key of “i love you”
Write the wrong words and call yourself a well-wisher.
Regret mistakes just to make them again tomorrow.
I never said i was worth the air i breathe. 
Tomorrow could be a clean slate, but i write with magic markers.
Every action has an equal and opposite distraction.
I’m sorry but i’m slowly falling apart.
So please excuse the mess.
We all break the rules sometimes.
Rescue yourself before you save another.
Out with the old, in with the (k)new. 
Never give up because hope is all we have anymore. 
Give me a chance and i swear i’ll prove i’m worth it.

Let

Only

Violence

Exist

theheartstringsthatlovebrings

my heart is somewhere on the floor, so watch your step when you're walking around. if you find it, feel free to bring it back to me although i don't really know if i'm using it properly. today is just a slice of a life that until recently made perfect sense. now everything is just a blur of wiped away tears and shot down confidence(not self). these never really matter, and i guess i kind of like it that way. leave me to my own devices and i swear i'll do something that will shake up the world. i don't expect anyone else to see it because no one sees my/the big picture. imagine putting together the perfect plan, but not being sure how to execute it properly. it may just take a few tweaks to get it right, but don't consider it flawed. there really is a method to my madness. i promise.