I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I may be losing my mind. Both figuratively and literally according to my doctor(s). Maybe I base my worth on things that don't even matter to anyone else, but it's really all I have these days. I took a giant leap of faith, but I never let anyone know that all it did was make me fall flat on my face in a state where the pavement doesn't get as hot in the summer. I try to force happiness so hard that I think it's taking a toll on my moods. (And not in a favorable way) Part me of me thinks i'll never fully be happy. The only difference between here and there is that when i'm there i'm miserable in a room full of people who are just as miserable but are too drunk to notice. Someone call a jeweler because this golden state isn't shining as brightly as I imagined it would. Listen to me, I sound like a brat who can't make the best of decent thing. Let's go ahead and file this under "Reasons I Don't Deserve To Be Here Anymore"

Maybe I just need a nap.

It's so bitter sweet, you and me.
So many nights spent talking for hours.
Words on the tips of tongues but not any further.
Let me whisper every secret
From my lips to your ears and no where else
Just know I'd give you the world if you would just ask
It's funny how the hugs got longer and we both knew it
Your smile always looks perfect next to mine.
I wish you'd call more often.