faces all look the same to me these days. nothing feels new or original. i used to joke about losing my mind, but lately it feels like i just may be. to be honest, it doesn't even bother me that much. life is so fake to me sometimes, i think it may be a breath of fresh air to just live in my own world for a while. im tired of not sleeping but saying that I am. im tired of pills. the laughs, the smiles, the attitude, it's all a facade. im waiting for doctor visits and test results that i don't even want to know. i have been lying to everyone so much lately that im starting to forget what the truth is. what would it take to just disappear for a while?

i think it's time to work up the courage and take a chance on something real. we're all scared so lets be scared together. we can face these demons head on because there's strength in numbers. this distance distracts me sometimes but my head can ignore the buzz of this reality. sink as deep into me as possible and lets keep each other warm tonight. this winter is so cold it burns.

i want to make you as lonely as me

maybe I'm just stupid, but in a way this makes sense to me. i keep something of yours really close every day just so i never forget. I'd say I'm sorry a million times but it wouldn't really matter. i go back and read sometimes but it's like they aren't even my words because i can't really relate to those feelings anymore. call me crazy because I probably am. call me pathetic because that's really the best way to describe it. I've written a thousand letters just to file them away under "you don't stand a chance".