these sunsets tear a hole in me somedays. i've been spending too much time looking for a cure for this west coast loneliness. im really only living in hour long increments because i'm tired of getting ahead of myself. cool calm and collected over hot wild and rejected. it feels like everything is constantly up in the air for me and im fused to the ground until october. everything is moving slow like a shitty music video. dramatic pauses and such. i traded the southern heat for a happiness that i don't even understand yet. the phone rings less and less, and i can't really say im surprised. it's really just a lot of controlled chaos. you can't see from where you are standing. i fake smiles but i don't fake feelings.


i miss that year the way i miss high school. it's not that i want to go back, but i'd change it all if i could.


smile.click.flash.repeat.