its never going to be all smiles and laughter. i never said that was the case. sometimes i can feel completely alone and forgotten and i hate that. ive got my eyes set to the west and my heart tucked away for safe keeping. your mouth has been starting fires all over the south and i would give anything to forget that town and stay where people dont know me (yet). i could lie and tell you this wasnt bothering me but thats not really my style. ill bang these thoughts out on my keyboard and hope it all makes sense in the morning. i love you like the first night you made me feel so on top of the world. ill never forget those eyes. they still make me feel alive.

chances like me only come once in a life time.

i gave you more than one.

you blew it.

good job kiddo.

at least you stayed out of the makeout club.

and she made her way in.

i know its hard to put physical distance between two hearts, but maybe you should give it a chance sometime. i miss having a complete connection with someone without even having to be together every single day. im too far away from everyone these days, and i hate that it means ill be alone in every way possible. maybe i'll meet someone who is strong enough to believe that love can work from far away. we have a million ways to keep in touch, and the physical part is that least important part of a relationship in my opinion.

ugh.

im just getting thoughts out so i can stop clogging up my head with all of this nonsense. im just lonely and im tired of being lead on and being made to feel special when its convenient for someone else. i need to quit being that support because all it does is set myself up for disappointment. i want a girl to want to be with me no matter what it takes. no matter how far away i am. one time i dated this girl knowing that she would be in another country for a year. all because i loved her. she dumped me, but i kept true to her and kept my promise. it can work if both people are in it 100 percent.

sometimes words can speak louder than actions so lets run our mouths until we finally prove a point to each other. forget about all of the meaningless routines and break away. can we just start a new life in the skin we have spent so many years hating? each day can be something different if you let it.


just stay calm and breathe.