i'm kind of glad things went this way, because i now know how a beautiful girl with the best intentions really is too good to be true. fake it like you mean it, baby. say the words you think we all want to hear. support this. represent that. pretend to spread love when you're full of anger and hate. tell me you love me. eyefuck my best friend. leave me alone because you can't stand spending time away from the other guy(s). it all adds up. this plus that minus a heart equals you. i didn't burn this bridge, you did. lets take it back a few years. back when you were who i thought you were. (see also: perfect)

i gave her a head start towards forever. i really hope she made the best of every second. i've got words locked and loaded but stored safely behind a forced smile. last night put it all into perspective. it was sort of expected. the kids used to being rejected. i piled "i love you"s into a soapbox so i could feel like i was standing on something that still mattered to anyone these days. it's cold now, another season that will always remind me of you. maybe we shouldn't have made it through all four. or maybe we need to be "us" again for four more. arms around shoulders. rings around fingers. everything about as perfect as a fuck up like me is allowed.

i've never seen a heart i couldnt break

free wifi and coffee for my tired eyes.
the tapes and signals and steadily mixed.
maybe i cared, but you couldn't break my stare.
im looking towards forever because i can't stand the sight of right now.
i let you do what i kept promising myself you'd never do.
fool me once.
shame on you.

You looked better on paper.
And felt better on your back.
I'll take back the touches
While you take me for granted.
Eventually none of this will matter anymore.